New Lifestyle Adaptation Gifts

'I'm coping.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"You won’t need refills."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

'Watch yourself.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

The Shy Nudist Camp.

"My joints... are almost done"

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

Just Married

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

'I recently became a veggie.'

Urban Gardens