Lifestyle Adjustment Gifts

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"I didn't spark joy."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"You won’t need refills."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Watch yourself.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"My joints... are almost done"

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

Just Married

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."