New Job Application Gifts

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"Do you have any questions apart from 'where did I get my jazzy tie'?"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'How fast can you hype?'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Others will fight for you

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Work/Life Balance

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Outer Space Outsourcing