New Home Kitchen Setup Gifts

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Big screen TV falling through floor

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Salt and Pepper

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'It's all homemade.'

The Perfect Foil

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Cookery Lesson.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

The Inexperienced Cook

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven