New Home Setup Gifts

"Alexa, would you like to say grace?"

New TV says: You Could've Got Me Cheaper By Waiting A Day!

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Allotment

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Gardener

"And this is our media room."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Rose Garden

Beach Barbecue

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."