New Dad Club Member Gifts

Maternity Arrivals

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's mine?"

"Which one's yours?"

"Which one's yours?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"It's a dependent!"

Newborn Chaos

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Overprotective Father

'Which one's yours?'

Newborns on cell phones

The (literal) birth of Venus.