New Dad Club Member Gifts

Maternity Arrivals

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Doughboy Dad

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"That's mine!"

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Which one's yours?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Which one's mine?"

"Which one's yours?"

"It's a dependent!"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Newborn Chaos

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

Overprotective Father

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

'Which one's yours?'

Newborns on cell phones

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."