Soon-to-be Dads Club Gifts

'It's a boy...or a girl!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Newborn Chaos

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Maternity Arrivals

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

Congratulations!

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

L'il Buckaroo.

'Congratulations, you're a father. Now you'd better get out of here before her husband arrives.'

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Dad, I thought I told you not to dress like Justin Bieber when you pick me up from school!"

Doctor checking a man's testicle to find out about fertility problems.

"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

"We're going to have a chipolata."

'I have a craving for sour pickles again.'