New Boss Observer Gifts

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

Terry had a computer bug.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Something has spooked the prairie dogs.'

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Good solution. Now we need a good problem.

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

You are here.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

In case of panic, push button.

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"At our company everything is based on trust. You can trust that you can trust no one."

'They're always going on and on about 'carrying management' so this seemed like a natural...'

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

C'mon, Bob, the associate chases the manager's tail, the manager chases the VP's tail, and the VP chases my tail for me – You know how this works.

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

'This doesn't look good.'

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'