New Book Release Gifts

Mary Trump

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the author"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Create some buzz!

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Isabel Allende

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Peel poker.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

'Is this your first book launch?'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Sumo Love.

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

Book publishing.

Book publisher telling author about some changes needed.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Meet the Authors