Neurotic Character Enthusiasts Gifts

Woody Allen

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'There's more to me than my books, you know.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

Horses are nervous animals. . .

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

Today's guest will discuss his narcissistic personality disorder. This relentless spotlight-hog drove everyone from his life! Click. Hey! He sounded interesting. How come you turned it off? I'm not giving him the attention. That's learn him!

Under the microscope

Jocasta Mothering.

"What can I say? God made me this way!"

"You have turned out well, my sons. I can go in peace."

"Is it too late for me to go back to the old ladies bike basket?"

"Sorry I'm late, I had to retrieve your health records."

Harry Fent, Human Being. Disclaimer...

"Scruffy? I'm not scruffy! I'm natural!"

'Doctor, I overheard you complaining how hard it was to get good kennel help...'

'Maybe installing luxury boxes was a bit optimistic."

Mr Chuckster Old Curiosity Shop

"Bland, James Bland."

Omaha's voice of reason.

'Pro Golfer Associated Catatonic Tigrephrenia...'

'We're going with the insanity plea, your honour.'

Profile: Please describe yourself in a few words - A man of many parts...

'To be honest, I don't know which bothers me the most! Not knowing if I'll ever catch my tail, or what I'd do if I ever DID!!'

Characters Caricaturas.

'When I convinced him to accept himself as he is, I didn't know he was a deadbeat.'

"Just my luck, having to live a compulsive lace tier 24 hours a day!"