Neurotic Pooch Enthusiast Gifts

'To be honest, I don't know which bothers me the most! Not knowing if I'll ever catch my tail, or what I'd do if I ever DID!!'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

"No no, I said sit!!"

Beware the Dog: 'Hopefully I'll grow into the job...'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Obedience School Graduation

Dogma

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

Puppy.

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

Dog Wrestling.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

A Change of Scene.

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

Woody Allen

Dogs in a basket

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

"No not the puppy please"

'Oooh, honey, will you get me that one?!'

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"