Neuro-nibbler Gifts

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

My boat

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'It looks like someone tried to pronounce 'Rorschach' with a mouthful of soup.'

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

Foodie Bank

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

Man eating 'after work mints'

'Second childhood menu, please!'

'Jenkins, you could be a great salesman if only you'd stop barking at customers and nibbling the furniture.'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"I miss indoor dining"

"It's okay, It's a shhhushhh...kebab"

Book Burp

If you give a mouse a French cookie

Pale Watery

State University Research Lab into the Jitters and HebbieJeebies.

'I miss our old fashioned candlelight dinners.'

"Excuse me, is this fruit genetically modified?"

"My problem has always been an overabundance of alpha waves."