Nobility Nibbler Gifts

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

My boat

"Her Ladyship wanted the portrait to have a more contemporary look."

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Baron de Munchausen

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

Foodie Bank

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

'Denson, I want this view moving so that we can see it from the West wing.'

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

Man eating 'after work mints'

'Jenkins, you could be a great salesman if only you'd stop barking at customers and nibbling the furniture.'

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'Second childhood menu, please!'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

'Nobility vehicle'