Nautical Nibbler Gifts

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

Pale Watery

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

My boat

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

Foodie Bank

'Could you turn me around the other way?'

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

"Just one more..."

Wooden ship with large Advertising sails for Seasickness, scurvey, mutiney

Nurse sharpening a needle before an injection.

"See, I told you it would hurt me as much as it would hurt you."

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"