Noble Nibbler Gifts

'Dashed if I know who they are, either, m'lord!'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

cayetana de alba

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

My boat

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

Foodie Bank

'Touch my toes? -- I have servants for that sort of thing!'

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

'Second childhood menu, please!'

'Jenkins, you could be a great salesman if only you'd stop barking at customers and nibbling the furniture.'

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

Man eating 'after work mints'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

If you give a mouse a French cookie

Book Burp

"It's okay, It's a shhhushhh...kebab"

"I miss indoor dining"

Pale Watery