Nobility Nibbler T-Shirts

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

My boat

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Foodie Bank

Baron de Munchausen

'Denson, I want this view moving so that we can see it from the West wing.'

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

Man eating 'after work mints'

'Jenkins, you could be a great salesman if only you'd stop barking at customers and nibbling the furniture.'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

'Second childhood menu, please!'

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

'Nobility vehicle'

Book Burp