Netweaver Gifts

'Remember to be nice to people on your way up. You might need them to do hard time for you later.'

Obsession with the Internet.

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"You've got computer-breath."

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Jackson Pollock the Spider

Man sitting at computer. Home sweet homepage framed on wall.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

Crossroads - fiction/non fiction.

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

"Flowers are the sex organs of the gods."

Irvine Welsh

Hot Towel Web Service

'I think he is a composer.'

"I'm taking a year out to travel round the internet."

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Internet' 'Internot'

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"Nothing all week. This is what happens when you scrimp on marketing."

Spider Clown.

Stormy Night

'Dang! Heck of a time to get writer's block.'