Net Guardian Humorist Gifts

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Daffodil bulbs

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Facebook For Dogs.

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"I sell them for Website names."

You've got snail.

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."