Nervous Accountant Gifts

"No wonder I suffer from separation Anxiety!"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Tough group."

F.B.I. Financial Fraud Investigation Unit. The accountant passed his lie detector test. Where should I file the result? In "accounts believable."

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

Extreme Accounting!

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'Your first major investment decision?'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

Expense Culture Advice.

It's rude to laugh behind someone's back. Unless it happens to be a painfully shy comedian. Then it's rude not to.

"And some people think accountancy is boring."

"Curtain in five minutes, Dad!"

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."