Nervous Accountant Pillows

"No wonder I suffer from separation Anxiety!"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Tough group."

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Your first major investment decision?'

Extreme Accounting!

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"And some people think accountancy is boring."

Expense Culture Advice.

It's rude to laugh behind someone's back. Unless it happens to be a painfully shy comedian. Then it's rude not to.

"Curtain in five minutes, Dad!"

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

'You treated me for Dow 13,000 phobia on the way up. Now it's hitting 13,000 again on the way down!'