Nerdy Joker Gifts

'Nuff said.

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Prisoner still life painting.

"See how it feels"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Adult Absence Notes.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

The Principal of Inertia.

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'At least you still think I'm great, don't you, boy?'

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

Valentine Comix

'This milk smells funny.'

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'I've never felt so alive...'

"Ha ha, I guess my photo on the dating site may have been a little misleading."