Neon Enthusiast Gifts

"Man, it really tears me to think that some squares want to pull down these lovely, beautiful signs!"

"It was a freezing winter night & I could hardly see a thing. Luckily, I was wearing my Fluorescent thong."

Welcome to the Team

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

Storm in a magic lamp.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Spaghetti Rave"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

The Inner Dog.

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

Europa Clipper

You need a new reading light

The New Age Dentist.

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

Taking to the sky...

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'