Neolithic Nerd Gifts

"Tracking a wildebeest and crushing its skull has made me want to get up early and invent agriculture."

"So when, exactly, did you plan on cleaning all this crap up?"

"Somehow, I feel that this site and Stonehenge are connected!"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock rock'.'

Why giraffes hate winter

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

'Yes you have to work Earth Day.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"So, what are you doing after whale-watching season?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

'One of the good things about being a dung beetle is that my kids are not fussy eaters...'

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'Art, art, art - When are we going to get some engineers?'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'