Neighborly Rival Gifts

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Tension filled the tent.

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Polygamists' Picnic

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Litter Pick

'The grudge match.'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

An Archeologic Dig

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Post-pandemic Hugging Refresher Class

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"It's from the Hendersons. They want us to come over this weekend."

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

"You invited the Wilsons over? This forest is a mess!!"

Neighbors blowing leaves that are blown back at them.

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

Visiting 'friends'.

I won! I finished my pizza first! Want to make it two out of three?

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

Where the wild things aren't.

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

St. Agnes Catholic Church: Meatless Friday Lenten Dinner 6 PM.