Neighborly Rivalry Gifts

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Litter Pick

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Post-pandemic Hugging Refresher Class

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"It's from the Hendersons. They want us to come over this weekend."

"You invited the Wilsons over? This forest is a mess!!"

Neighbors blowing leaves that are blown back at them.

Where the wild things aren't.

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

Visiting 'friends'.

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

St. Agnes Catholic Church: Meatless Friday Lenten Dinner 6 PM.

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

Interrupted Shower.

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'We video all these trick or treat transactions...for security reasons.'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

This is Bad Feng Shui!