Neighborhood Competitor Gifts

"Damn that Higgins! He’s added WiFi."

Dueling Christmas Lights

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Autumn Leaves

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

"It does seem an odd place to put it."

Keeping up with the jones

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

Our Village Industrial Competition.

"Steve and Sue, clean up after your mutt or else!"

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"