Neighborhood Competitor Pillows

"Damn that Higgins! He’s added WiFi."

Dueling Christmas Lights

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

The Life of a Sentient Rock

Autumn Leaves

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

Keeping up with the jones

"It does seem an odd place to put it."

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

"Steve and Sue, clean up after your mutt or else!"

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'Still no takers, did it ever occur to you that they may not like the neighbourhood?'