Neighborhood Champion Pillows

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

Prize vegetables.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

Social Worker

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Harold - We gotta come up with tag names and go over it - That's how we reclaim our block."

"Thank you."

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Autumn Leaves

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Dr. Mom and Dr. Pop's Little Corner Hospital

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"For Thanksgiving...I want to celebrate Christmas!"

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

"Damn that Higgins! He’s added WiFi."

Cycle Lane

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Neighborhood hygiene

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community