Neighborly Competition Pillows

"That does it! - if the Anderson's have the bomb, then we have to have it too..!!!"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

Men painting red and white.

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

'Miaow??'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

Squash Partners.

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

'That's all I can say - I've already told you twice as much as I know!'

"Until we hear different, it's Jersey's problem."

"Damn that Higgins! He’s added WiFi."

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

Keeping up with the jones

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Our Village Industrial Competition.

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'Alright, alright - you win this row. Let's make it best out of three.'

Dueling Christmas Lights

'I'm baking. Can I borrow 2 eggs... some bacon and a couple slices of bread?'

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!