Neighborhood Nostalgic Gifts

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

Progress.

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'John... is that a collar?'

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

Interrupted Shower.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

"I hate what's happened to the neighborhood."

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Great neighborhood. You're only minutes away from a yoga studio."

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'Can Spot come out and play?'