Neighborhood Nostalgia Gifts

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

$1: Family Secrets

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

Progress.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'John... is that a collar?'

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

Interrupted Shower.

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"I hate what's happened to the neighborhood."

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"He really misses the city."