Neighborhood Beautifier Gifts

A gardener surreptitiously planting a sapling in a neighbour's neglected garden.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Planner at work.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

Urban spring.

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

'Keep yapping: The neighbour is red in the face and ready to explode...'

'Yes...in retrospect I DO regret not protesting against the new by-pass'

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

Ames, Honey? The yard really needs you attention. What makes you say that?

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

How are your mime skills? I want to convince a dog he's surrounded by an invisible fence.

Suspicious Person Ban.

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Objets D'Angst

"The kid next door is doing a school project on heighborhood success stories and wanted to talk to you. I laughed so hard I wet my pants."

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."