Backyard Beautifier Gifts

Ames, Honey? The yard really needs you attention. What makes you say that?

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

Fierce neighbourhood competition

Gardener laying turf.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Gardening#2

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

Human males marking territory.

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

Urban spring.

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

How men shop for towels.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

Time Table

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."