Backyard Beautifier T-Shirts

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

Fierce neighbourhood competition

Gardener laying turf.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Gardener

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Gardening#2

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

Human males marking territory.

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

Urban spring.

How men shop for towels.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Time Table

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

Objets D'Angst

Jesus snowblows a cloud.