Barn Beautifier Gifts

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'We've got the cleanest barn in the county.'

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Doing the borders.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

Urban spring.

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

How men shop for towels.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

Tweezers are a girl's best friend.

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

Ames, Honey? The yard really needs you attention. What makes you say that?

"The groomer used too much product."

You can't beat a nice bit of skirting!

Objets D'Angst

How are your mime skills? I want to convince a dog he's surrounded by an invisible fence.

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

Growing up/growing out.

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

Decorating Tips of Small Rooms

The Attorney Barn

Gardener laying turf.

Fierce neighbourhood competition

I'm thinking of keeping the length and adding highlights this tim

"Vlad realized, right there and then, that he should have bought the buff-white or even the oatmeal-colored sheets."