Neighborhood Buff Gifts

'Is your sore throat stopping you from keeping up with the neighbourhood barking frenzy? Try Auto-bark! It will mimic your bark to keep up with the big dogs, long after you've stopped.'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

Tipping Pain Chart

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

The Life of a Sentient Rock

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Autumn Leaves

Interrupted Shower.

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

This is Bad Feng Shui!

"Good defenses make good neighbors."

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

Sketchy Neighborhood

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

(Used to be) END.

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"Steve and Sue, clean up after your mutt or else!"

'Still no takers, did it ever occur to you that they may not like the neighbourhood?'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"The bakery-to-skinny-people ratio in this neighborhood doesn't make any sense."

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!