Negative Neutralizer Pillows

Must you always be so negative?

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Successful vaccination

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

'Oh it's YOU, Mike! For a moment, I thought I heard the tormented howl of a caged animal!'

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

Rational explanations

"Sorry if I'm negative, but I'm operating on a need to no basis."

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Don't get too excited, they're empty. Our gift to you is not contributing more plastic waste to landfill."

'Today our special guest is Pamela, who will be telling us what it's like to have an extreme fear of being in the dark. To protect her identity we've placed her in a darkened studio.'

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

"Nonsense, it's just your perception that I treat you like crap."

'I blame the internet.'

"Highway or bunny trail, highway or bunny trail?"

"If you purchase these items, I will use this special spray to neutralize the pesticides coating them."

Traffic slowing to a crawl then speeding up for no apparent reason next 5 miles.

'Psssst... cop on other side of hill.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ok, girls...we need to get the Ekert back down to reasonable size before it destroys out house...so no more TV, radio, or any other negative energy...'

Moan Pig.

"Do you really think installing a solar panel will satisfy the anti-nukes crowd?"

Toll Booths Ahead, Radar Detection Area, Construction Ahead, No Rest Stops for 200 Miles, Severe Potholes Ahead.

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

'You could say I'm a pessimist. The glass isn't just half-empty, it's not even what I wanted to drink in the first place.'

Watch Out For The Idiot Behind The Guy In Front Of You.

"It's too cold in here. The boss is a jerk. My feet hurt."

Learn How To Ignore Positive Thoughts Keep Scrolling.