Whine Neutralizer Pillows

"It's too cold in here. The boss is a jerk. My feet hurt."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Election Cancelling Headphones

'Oh it's YOU, Mike! For a moment, I thought I heard the tormented howl of a caged animal!'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Rational explanations

"It's my new theory of human evolution. Survival of the Whiniest."

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

Must you always be so negative?

Nature Magnified

Sign on the door of an Allergy Ward in a hospital says: NO scratch and sniff get well cards

Moan Pig.

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

"A little peace and quiet."

Let Joey do the talking. He's always knows the perfect whine to go with broccoli casserole!

Solving the Snoring Problem

Red Whine

People asking a robin to be quiet.

"The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping."

Noise abatement society - Hush.

Elevator volume control.

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

Damsel with Ear-Plugs

"...And as for your terrible elevator music...."

Lawnmower protestor

"I snore says my wife!"

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

Man on mobile on train - 'You'll have to speak up, they've put a really annoying TV in the carriage...'

Antihistamine: The other side of the pro-histamine debate.

'I can't hear you - let's repeat the last ten minutes of our extremely irritating conversation'

"I'd like $50 worth of total silence, please."