Needlework Sage Gifts

Knitting is Knirvana.

I quilt therefore I am

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Arts and crafts

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

octopus knitting a jumper...

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

"How may I hurt you?"

Maid with her sewing basket

Bless this horse

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Multitasking

'Nice needlework, dear, but we don't need a bigger house.'

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Man and woman knitting together.

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

Sewing Buddies

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

"It's a sampler, like everything else in my life."

Specimen of Mr Punch's Industrial Exhibition of 1850 (to be improved in 1851)