Needlework Novice Gifts

The Five Sisters of York

Clergyman's wife telling a pupil off for not being diligent

'Hereafter you sew your own buttons on your suits of armor. This is the tenth needle I've ruined tonight.'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

I quilt therefore I am

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

Brad Pitt.

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

octopus knitting a jumper...

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

Pandemic Orphans

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"How may I hurt you?"

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

'You just continue to grow.'

Bless this horse

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

Maid with her sewing basket