Knitting Novice Gifts

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

Pandemic Orphans

'You just continue to grow.'

Skiing.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Arts and crafts

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

The wine-shop

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'