Near-death Experiencer Gifts

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

Undercover Biophysicists

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

Flo was mortified when she discovered that her web cam was broadcasting when she was testing out possible new looks.

Mouse with map exiting maze.

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab

'Any ideas?'(scientists in a lab).

Snakecharming.

"Well, I hope you're happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you've killed your little sister."

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Oh our assistant, he was donated by a pharmaceutical company."