Near-death Experiencer Gifts

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

Undercover Biophysicists

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Flo was mortified when she discovered that her web cam was broadcasting when she was testing out possible new looks.

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'

Mouse with map exiting maze.

'Any ideas?'(scientists in a lab).

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab

Snakecharming.

"Well, I hope you're happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you've killed your little sister."

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"Oh our assistant, he was donated by a pharmaceutical company."

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."