Navy Personnel Gifts

Now I cannot overstress the importance of order here!

How's My Driving?

Drunk sailor anchored to a bar.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

Bulltoon: Submersibull

'You put your right foot in . . . '

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"Well there's nothing in the Navy Regulations that says we can't..."

"Flotsam off the starboard bow, Captain."

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"I don't need to see that... Any port in a storm will do."

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'I think you are taking this Boatswain's mate thing a bit too seriously sailor!'

An old sailor with the directions for tying knots tattooed on his chest.

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

"Heavens! I'd better rush home. my phone may be ringing."

'We all love SAMANTHA'

On the bridge of navy ship,a messenger says to captain-'Captain, sonor reports that the Russian chili-freighter is dumping their cargo at a frantic rate. They also report some very impressive whale flatulence...'

Rear Admiral.

'Hmph! Another programme trying to grab ratings'

Periscope in the bath

USS Party Time.

WW 2 German EWE-boat.

Octopus on a Submarine

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

"You look like a grapefruit squished inside a blueberry."

'It's a military tattoo!'

Seagull humour.

Failed sailor decides to end it all but the knot on his noose comes undone.

Man asks for Help from a submarine.

'When did they start canning people?'

A sailor cleaning the deck