Navy Officers Gifts

"F**k me! I didn’t know there was an app for that!"

Sailor Writing

". . . We've been furloughed. . ."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Fighter Jet Sneeze

Servicemen.

The Dubloon Stops Here

When laundry ruled the waves.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Sailor in Car.

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Subwoofer

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Kamikaze Colour

COWMIKAZES

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'Hardy I see no chips!'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"Port outbound, starboard home."

Sub Editor

"Richard was recently promoted to first mate."