Navigationally Impaired Gifts

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

Captain in a storm

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Are we there yet?'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Touché"

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Titanic: How's my steering.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Moustached gentleman

Saved...life is good!

Lost around a military base.

Recalculating!

Dream On: Fish jumping into boat, whilst fisherman says 'Golly, guys! Can't you wait until I get my tackle box open?'

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

A Couple in A Speedboat.

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

Island of Lost Guys.

"Next time I tell you to take a left, just don’t listen to me."