Navigation Master Gifts

Line, area and volume

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Captain in a storm

'Are we there yet?'

"Mind the whale, dear."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"Touché"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Titanic: How's my steering.

Lost around a military base.

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Moustached gentleman

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Saved...life is good!

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Dream On: Fish jumping into boat, whilst fisherman says 'Golly, guys! Can't you wait until I get my tackle box open?'

Recalculating!

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"