Nautical Navigator Gifts

Father Christmas's Alternative Sleigh.

Stroke! Stroke! Purr, purr, purr...

'I don't see how sending out flares is going to save us.'

"Admit it, we're nowhere near Penzance!"

'Congratulations! You have been chosen...'

'I don't want to imply that your boat is slow, but that tortoise just passed us.'

Whale Watch Tours.

'I need a cure for seasickness.'

'I should never have let the moth try steering.'

"No health or dental, no stock options, and no severance package. We do, however, provide free burial at sea."

'What do you mean you were having such a good time on your boating trip you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Petersen, you're fired!'

'I think one plank is enough. Get rid of the high dive.'

'This new guy is getting on my nerves.'

Directions to the Bar.

Man sees large fish shape on sonar, made up by a shoal of small fish.

Yacht Club: Valet Parking $25,000.

"According to our GPS we're 2300 nautical miles from nearest knowledge economy."

The Ocean's Plug

"These EU health and safety regulations are getting out of hand."

"He's gone on a lap of honour!"

'Thanks, I never had a broker take me out on his boat before. So, tell me, where are all of your clients' yachts?'

'You know what your problem is, Bob? You need to stop dreaming about cold beers and beautiful women and LIVE IN THE MOMENT!'

Eight-year-old Henry Jonas is credited with being the first child to utter the question that parents would loathe for centuries to come.

Holidaymakers Share Wine With Neptune

Model Ship with Galley Slaves

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

"They were all out of pirate hooks so I got a dentist hook."

'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'

'I got dressed in the dark.'

A giant octopus clambers onto a small ship.

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Ahab's whale-proof hat.

Watch Your Step.