Navigating Commitment Gifts

'I haven't committed to a man yet. I'm waiting 'til they come out with the new improved version.'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"'...Love, honor, cherish til death do us part'? Wait..."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I need a man who will commit."

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"I do enjoy seeing you, Roger, but I'm not sure if you're binge-worthy."

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'I'm just looking for a committed relationship. I'm sick of all the games.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

'I now pronounce you husband vs. wife.'

Teach her the Meaning of D.I.Y.

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

"Perhaps if I phrased the question differently."

New in fitness: Health club truancy officers.