Naval Strategist Gifts

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Hey, you sank my battleship.'

Navy games.

Submarine Hunter.

That's just cheating!

That's What Happens

Reverse psychology

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

COWMIKAZES

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

"Have you got any arguments why the world should trust in US policy?"

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Admiral in the bath.

Mission accomplished.

The Thing That Won't Leave

'I've been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group,some zoologists...'

Horatio Nelson

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'