Nautical Linguist Gifts

"Back the main sheet and brace the futtocks - whatever that means."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

'It was this big. I swear'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Sea Horse outside saloon

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'I've been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group,some zoologists...'

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

A writer goes sailing.

Ernie, as a scientist you should say the birds are "making aggressive vocalizations," not "feuding with tweets."

A Higgs Bosun

'Oh, look on the bright side. At least I'm not a 500 pound Bengal tiger.'

A Tale of the Sea

'Now let's build an insurance company and charge a fortune for all of this ocean front property.'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

School of Fish

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

"Ive been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group, some zoologists..."

Tunnel of Vengeance.

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Sailing

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'

'You're a little overweight.'